Everything in the Book

Both of the major times I was hospitalized I came out with many different diagnosis. To be honest there is one I’m still not feeling comfortable with and I only found about it four years ago when my old counselor visited here to release my papers.

I’m not going to lie that I sometimes wonder if the doctors aren’t inflating things. Perhaps I’m listening to my grandma a little too much, but idk. For example the illness that I spoke of is PSTD. I still think…I can’t have that. I’ve never been exposed to something traumatic.

But as I read more about it, I find myself getting uncomfortable. My home life…wasn’t the best. But it wasn’t the worst. I’m still hesitant to call it traumatic. But yes now I remember certain things. Stuff that I don’t feel comfortable with confronting especially with my new enlightened relationship with my mother. But confront them I will have to.

I’m currently looking for a new mental health provider. My old one is alright, but I don’t think they are equipped for all of the services I need at the moment. I hate to leave them though. I’ve always been afraid of change.