Work in Progress: When Chloe Met Jordana

I wrote a bit on Chloe’s book tonight. I actually like what I have. It’s more introspective. A great majority of my writing is made up of dialogue but I’m trying to add more layers to it. Dialogue is great but it can’t stand alone.

I added a new page here. It’s sort of a landing page for stuff I’ve written and posted online. It’s to give prospective readers a taste of what I do.

I thought I’d post an excerpt here tonight. I’ve been working on this book for about a year now. I want to share with you a scene from the sleepover. This entire chapter just flowed from my fingers. It was the most fun to write.

Chloe got up and left the room. She walked uncertainly down the hall. It was clear that Stefania and Xandra had been over many times. She felt a pang of jealously which confused her so she ignored it.

She found the bathroom. Closing the door behind her she turned on the shower and shed her clothes and stepped inside.

She thought of Jordana as she washed her hair. She hadn’t made her feel welcome. Chloe thought to herself but Stefania and Xandra had taken to her instantly. Jordana was the type of her person that drew others to her. Even she felt strangely drawn to her. It was like Jordana was a magnet and she was the metal.

Turning off the water she stepped out. She opened the closet door and reached for a towel. She dried herself and slipped into the pajamas. They smelt like her.

She walked back into the bedroom to find the girls crowded on the bed. They looked up at her expectantly.

“What’s going on…?”

“TRUTH OR DARE!” Stefania said.

The gist of this story is that Jordana moves to town. Chloe is the narrator. She’s popular by association. At first Chloe is hesitant to be seen around Jordana but as she grows closer to her she realizes that she likes her and she realizes she might like her a little too much. This story is a romance of the young adult variety. I’m nearing finishing but I’ve fallen behind.

Fifty Days of Grey: Chapters 7-11

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Now yesterday I had a problem. See I had made notes for chapters 10 and 11 which I had just read of the book. But somehow I was missing chapters 7-9…

I talked about chapters 5 and 6 in the vlog I posted but where did the entries about 7-9 go?

Don’t ask me because I don’t know either. But a quick google search tells me these are the chapters where the sex does down…ah yes I remember.

My thoughts on these chapters are that I like them. Christian shows her his red room. Then he figures out she’s a virgin so he decides he’s going to introduce her to sex.

These chapters are like the majority of romance novels. A little steamy but nothing in particular sticks out in my mind. I thought it was sexy though no doubt.

And then I believe chapter 9 ends with Mrs. Grey appearing and then we are caught up with my notes.

Chapter 10

My initial notes:

So this chapter sheds light on Christian’s background. We get to meet his mother. She seems sweet. But what really interested me was Christian’s introduction to the BDSM lifestyle. His mother’s friend introduced him too. Now see Christian just sort of tells this like there’s nothing wrong with this picture. But Ana calls it out for what it is: sexual abuse. This makes me think of men that have been abused by women. There are some people that think men can’t be abused so I was surprised that Ana picked up on that fact. Kudo Ms. James

I really want to talk about this for a moment. I wasn’t expecting to see this in this book. I’ve heard so much about how controlling Christian is. But I’m surprised no one has talked about this. Sexual abuse on males is touchy subject. It reminds me of when female teachers abuse their male students. I see a lot of commenters (mostly males) say that’s the dream life. It reminds me of how Chris Brown doesn’t recognize that his first sexual experience was actually rape. So it was an enlightening surprise to see that Ana recognize that what happened to Christian was abuse. I was pleased to read that.

Chapter 11

Initial notes:

So the next chapter opens with the contract. The full fucking contract. Let me tell you I usually like when documents are transcribed in fiction (weird I know) but my eyes were glazing over. But it was kinda shocking. Ana’s reaction was my reaction. I can be shy but submissive? Bitch please. But like her I’m still eerily drawn to it.
The emails were much more fun to read. I wrote on GR that it annoyed me when he calls her baby. But apparently if it’s prefixed by laters I’m all good. Something about that is cute to me.

I really thought the contract part could have been left out. I don’t think I need to see the thing in full. It would have been fine with a summary by Ana. But I really enjoyed the emails by Christian and Ana. Ana comments that sometimes Christian seems his age. He does seem more mature at the beginning but I love the little glimpses that show him as a normal twenty-something man. Those are my favorite. I also like when it says laters baby but I don’t like when calls baby by itself. I know it’s such a trifle to be picky about but I am so whatevs.

Fifty Days of Grey: Chapters 3 and 4

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So chapter 3 picks up with the photoshoot. I guess it’s pretty standard since the only reference I have on photoshoots are ANTM. But Christian asks Ana out for coffee.

So what I’m getting from this chapter is that Grey gets all in her business and I like that she’s sorta offended by this. She doesn’t tell him to stop asking or anything but I’ll give her points for recognizing this. And she is very persistent about labeling him a control freak.

Ana is clumsy of course and she nearly gets ran over by a cyclist. So she ends up in his arms and she DESPERATELY wants him to kiss her.

But he doesn’t. He tells her he doesn’t do the girlfriend thing. She takes this to mean that he doesn’t want HER for a girlfriend. So she leaves angrily and broods over that.

She dreams about him and then the scenes cut to her taking her English exams. After that she returns home where Kate announces she has a package. Inside are first editions of Tess of the D’Ubervilles. Now I would be excited by something like that and she is but there is a cryptic note along with it. She’s rightly frustrated.

So she, Kate, the regular photographer, and Jose celebrate their final exams. Ana gets drunk. Sloppily drunk and drunk dials Christian. He demands to know where is she and Ana is like haha no. She excuses herself to go outside and Jose follows a little later. Jose forces kisses on her and Christian shows up in the nick of time. Stare off. Christian is going to take her home but the girl faints.

So my thoughts on these chapters are is that I so don’t like how controlling Christian is. Like even the MC realizes it. It hasn’t overwhelmed me just yet.

And it’s been awhile since I read Twilight but I don’t recall Bella being so…snarky? I mean I vaguly that she was supposed to be sarcastic. I was fifteen when I first read Twilight but over the years Bella began to annoy me. Ana doesn’t annoy me at this point but there are twenty more chapters to read.

Thoughts about Wallbanger by Alice Clayton

So I finished reading Wallbanger yesterday. I absolutely loved it. My review wasn’t very substantial so I’m not posting it here.

But I was thinking about the fact that the book is categorized as erotica. I mean it has sex in it but it’s not like the other erotica I’ve read (Which admittedly is about two or three). The focus in this story was more the growing relationship between Caroline and Simon. I think it’s more like a romance than an erotica. Hell perhaps erotic romance? The sex didn’t seem to take up a substantial portion of the story. I feel like Caroline regaining her O was more of a subplot to the romance.

I would categorize Wallbanger as chick lit as well. It reminds me of the genre and I definitely think it’s a romantic comedy.

I think way too much about labels.

Fifty Days of Fifty Shades of Grey

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Ok I’m not sure on the whole fifty days but that title is catchy no?

Since I don’t live under a rock I’ve heard about Fifty Shades. I will be honest and say I judged this book hard. It seemed to go against my sensibilities. As a girl familiar with fandom it was an unspoken rule that you didn’t publish fanfiction.

But one day I happened to start doing some digging. A very good link I rec is the Fifty Shades page. It has more information about the background of the book. It was after reading these links that I started to question my biases. I had judged the book before even reading it. I hadn’t given it a fair a chance.

So that’s what I’m doing now.

Here’s the plan. I’m going to read a chapter (perhaps a day, maybe every two days it depends) and tell you my thoughts on it. Simple right?

Thoughts: Chapter 1

So the story opens with Anastasia complaining about her friend being sick. This is a little bitchy I admit but understandable. The story then fast forwards to Grey House. There are two blonde secretaries. Then Mr. Grey comes in. Tiny sparks. I honestly expected him to come in with flames or something but I digress. So he comes and she starts interviewing him. From what I’ve read online I expected Anastasia to be a weeping flower but she’s kinda snarky which I like. No negative thoughts on Christian yet. He talks a lot about control for obvious reasons. Interview ends.

So so far the book seems pretty routine. I expected mis-spellings and just awfulness. It’s not so bad so far.

I might have chapters 2 and 3 later on depending on how I feel. And a banner. I downloaded some brushes I’m dying to use.

Thoughts: Chapter 2

The major thing that I noticed about the beginning of this chapter is how short and choppy the scenes are. The scene will shift to her working and then like a paragraph later will switch again. That’s a bit unnecessary and it really distracts from the story.

I don’t really have a lot of thoughts on Kate. She’s just sort of there. She’s not really present. Jose seems nice. I was interested in Ana’s background when she mentioned she had taken her stepfather’s name. I wonder if the book will go more into that? I find that very interesting.

So while she’s working Mr. Grey arrives. She notices that his hands are manicured and the only thing I could think is that this guy is so metrosexual. But I guess it makes sense that he cares about his image. He does like control after all.

And the last thing I noticed was what he bought. Cable wires, masking tape, ropes…oh yeah that’s foreshadowing baby.

All About Those Bags

Tessa wanted that bag. She knew she shouldn’t but yet she found herself at the site again sifting through the hoard and hoards of bags.

She reasoned with herself that she wouldn’t buy anything. She had too many bags already. The last she counted it was 150 and that didn’t include the clutches.

But this bag was so perfect. It was the right size and a warm color. She reasoned that if she bought it she could use it with anything.

She exited out of the window. She pulled up the search engine and typed in ‘charities’.

Tessa infrequently gave to charity. Sometimes she didn’t remember, sometime she didn’t have enough to spare, and sometimes she just didn’t care. But she felt like she should do something to balance her monetary karma.

But that bag wouldn’t stay out of her mind. She scrolled through the list of charities. She couldn’t choose that one because they discriminated against LGBT people and that one looked unsavory.

She thought about just not giving anything.

But she opened up a link. It was a children’s charity. She made a quick donation and opened up a new tab. She decided to treat herself.