My name is Destiny. I turned 25 a full two months ago. I turned 25 in a mental hospital. This was not my first time being in one. This was not my first time being in one during my birthday. This was however my first time being admitted to one after suffering from a full blown psychotic break.
Psychosis and I have never been closer than we have been this year. She’s become a friend to me. She whispered in my ear: what was that? Are they talking about me? Is he angry? Does she hate me?
Even now that I’m stable my frenemy hasn’t completely left me yet. She’s leaving, but not without a fight.
I want to document my journey with schizoaffective disorder. The diagnosis is as much a surprise to me as anyone, but apparently not my mother and a hoard of doctors, nurses, and therapists. I had no idea this illness even existed. What is it? I asked. The simple answer?
Schizoaffective disorder is a serious mental illness with the symptoms of both either bipolar (my case) or depression and schizophrenia.
I feel like I’ve won the lottery of bad genetics. Woohoo you get BP and you get schizophrenia too!
So I’m going to try to work through this the best way I know how: through journaling/blogging and hopefully this blog can be of help to other confused souls like me.