I find myself thinking of home a lot. I’ve lived in four houses (one of them was an apartment) since I was born. Certainly not a lot, but the search for a home is something that I am constantly looking for.
The first home I lived in was the house my mother rented from a relative. I was born in that house and it was located right next to my grandmother’s house pictured at left.
We went to Cotton Valley today and my brother stopped in the driveway where our old home used to be. It’s not there anymore. It has been torn down.
He then drove next door to look at my grandmother’s house. It’s still standing, but the trees and grass have covered it almost. My great-grandmother’s house is right next door to her daughter’s. Both women have passed.
My brother is talking about tearing down both homes since he owns the property now and it has me feeling some type of way. I spent a lot of time with my grandmother at her home. She loved sitting out in the yard under the tree. We used to eat outside and walk around just throwing beans and waiting for them to sprout! She told me I had a green thumb, which while I don’t garden at the moment, I still find myself immensely fond of the compliment.
I probably feel emotional about the potential destruction of the property because of its link to my grandmother. A visible, physical link to her and once it’s gone…well you get my train of thought.
It’s strange. I don’t go to my birth town often, but I always know I’m home when I see my grandmother’s house.
Today is my twenty-seventh birthday and I couldn’t be happier. I once thought I would be upset about aging and if this were the younger me, I definitely would be.
But I heard or read somewhere that your thirties are better than your twenties.
I don’t know about that, but I’ve noticed that as I get older I’ve become more confident and secure in myself. Something I struggled with in my teenage years and through most of my twenties.
This birthday is also a little bittersweet. It’s my second birthday without my grandmother. Last year I didn’t really even celebrate. I believe I just slept most of the day.
But today I went downtown. My friend Kayla and I went to Artspace and looked at two installations. I liked both of them, but I really loved the art for Quake in Paradise.
I got some photos on my Diana Mini. It was one of my birthday presents to myself. So far it’s my favorite camera to shoot on though I haven’t had any film developed from it yet. I like the compact design and it’s easy to get used to! Once the film is developed I’ll be posting some pictures!
After my mom and I got home. (Kayla and I ran into her at the bus terminal.) I took a nap basically lol. I take a nap regardless of what happens.
Tonight my mother’s boyfriend came over and we all had birthday cake. I really like Louie and I feel like he’s my stepdad, even though they aren’t married at this time, although it’s not for lack of trying on his part!
All in all a good birthday. No spending the night in the emergency room or celebrating it in a mental hospital either. Hopefully, the birthdays continue to be as good as this one!
P.S. I’ve definitely got to do something big for 30!