she’s internally dying

strong black womanWhy is it…that I am supposed to be a strong woman. A strong black woman supposedly. That’s all I hear when my friends–especially if they are non-black– tell me. You’re so strong! I can totally see you being a single mother! As if that’s a compliment.

Who wants to be a single mother? Does any mother really wish that on herself? Who would choose willingly to be a single mother? Certainly not I. I’ve watched my mother go through hell raising me. Always trying to scrape together money to pay the bills. Always worrying about money.

My mother essentially comes from a long line of single mothers or if you will women who wore the pants in the family.

My grandmother, god bless her soul, raised my mother and uncle on her own even when she was married. You know the old story. Cheating, abusive husband.

Her mother dealt with pretty much the same. Philandering husband. Eight children to raise.

Are they strong women?


Did they choose that life?


So don’t you ever in your life look at me and call me a strong black woman. I will gouge your eyes like the harpy I am.