Footsteps linger outside the door.
The person you were—an imprint in my synapses—
your specter firing between the walls.
watch the wolves they know the test
and what they don’t they sniff out the rest
Lying at the foot of grandmother’s armrest
Watching the rise and fall of her breast
Readying themselves for a feast
I can see something in his teeth
A gleam, a pearl, a bone, a key
Oh I think it might be me
I’m tired of being fucking reasonable
Of having to be calm, cool, collected
I want to be angry. I want to be mad.
I want to claim my birthright.
It has been calling to me for the longest
Through the ages from mitochondrial eve
Adam probably called her a bitch too.
I’m tired of having to smile. I’m tired of saying sorry
for things I didn’t do. I’m tired of everything.
I’m angry and I’m not allowed to be.
I must be the voice of reason.
The fucking mediator. A role I’ve taken since birth
Between two witches and a boar.
I take pleasure in my transformations. I look quiet and consistent, but few know how many women there are in me.-Anais Nin
I have been silent these past few months. Not only on my website but somewhat on social media. This year has been hard, but I do feel like it has made me a stronger person.
My writing goals have fallen by the side of the road, but hopefully, I am finally getting back on track. I am trying to work on a novel right now.
It’s called the Lotus Eaters. I suppose you could call it a coming of age novel, but it’s more a novel of transformation. (At least right now in the early stages). It’s not the ‘novel of my heart’ but it’s something I need to get off my chest of course.
I hope to keep the site updated with my writing process and some reviews and perhaps even the college life!
my marrow is filching
sulking towards the exit waiting to get
out. it cannot be contained. a hazard
that refuses to drain out. the color of blackness
and a fervor of grey. neither can find their way.
Originally posted here on my AllPoetry.com account