she’s internally dying

strong black womanWhy is it…that I am supposed to be a strong woman. A strong black woman supposedly. That’s all I hear when my friends–especially if they are non-black– tell me. You’re so strong! I can totally see you being a single mother! As if that’s a compliment.

Who wants to be a single mother? Does any mother really wish that on herself? Who would choose willingly to be a single mother? Certainly not I. I’ve watched my mother go through hell raising me. Always trying to scrape together money to pay the bills. Always worrying about money.

My mother essentially comes from a long line of single mothers or if you will women who wore the pants in the family.

My grandmother, god bless her soul, raised my mother and uncle on her own even when she was married. You know the old story. Cheating, abusive husband.

Her mother dealt with pretty much the same. Philandering husband. Eight children to raise.

Are they strong women?

Yes.

Did they choose that life?

No.

So don’t you ever in your life look at me and call me a strong black woman. I will gouge your eyes like the harpy I am.

Still Alive

Yes I am still around though I haven’t even posted a weekly video in awhile. This is for two reasons. 1.) I go to school four days a week including Wednesday and I’m pretty tired when I get home 2.) Is that I unplugged my webcam to plug something else in. I don’t know what happened but I can get video but I can’t get audio anymore and I am too lazy to fix it.

But I am still reading. I have to say the school library has a lot of nonfiction which of course they should but the fiction pickings aren’t much so I’ve only checked out nonfiction. But I have been reading some things though I haven’t finished anything since at least early June or late May? Idk. I should be worried but I have been busy so I’m trying not to fret. I’ve gone longer without reading a book (Like a year or so) so as long as it doesn’t get that bad I’m fine.

I’m still obsessed with Sylvia Plath and I’m doing a speech on romance novels. Yep.

You’ve Got Time

I haven’t posted much in the way of content. I’ve recently started my first year of college and on Wednesday I don’t have the energy to post the videos.

But I am reading! I’m currently reading Where Dreams Begin by Lisa Kleypas. I love her books esp. the historical romance. She recently announced that she’s returning to the genre with a new series. Woop!

I hope to have up some reviews as summer winds down so look out for them!